


Grow As We Go

by fairmanor



Series: Tough Talks [11]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Bittersweet, Episode: s06e14 Happy Ending, Fluff, Growth & development babey, It FEELS like angst but it's definitely NOT angst, M/M, Saying goodbye to the people you were, Weddings, getting married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28813902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairmanor/pseuds/fairmanor
Summary: “I just want to have one conversation. Can I do that?”“Oh my God, David! You literally have forever!”“Well, can forever hold on a minute? This is now!”Five minutes before they get married, David and Patrick want one last conversation as fiancés.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Tough Talks [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918438
Comments: 71
Kudos: 272





	Grow As We Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, this happened. I thought I was done with this series, and I think I probably will be after this one, but I finally found the inspo for a wedding fic and so here it is.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was Alexis that had got David keyed up on the whole tradition thing.

For part of it, at least, David knew she was projecting. She was throwing herself into distractions in order to forget about Ted, and David’s wedding had been the closest thing for her to latch on. He and Patrick had had a lengthy conversation about planning contribution after the spray tan incident, so as long as Alexis was happy he didn’t mind.

She’d started small with things David was already planning on doing, like walking down the aisle and wearing cufflinks that he borrowed from Johnny. Then it was the things David had always found a little gauche, like throwing the bouquet and giving out favors and wearing a garter (David _was_ wearing a garter, but he didn’t tell Alexis that. He also didn’t tell her about the black lace suspenders and floral lingerie he has at the bottom of his suitcase for the night they move into the cottage, either.)

Even so, something about it all has stuck for David and now he can’t get enough. His wedding dream book was filled with a multitude of possibilities from the niche to the straight-up ludicrous, but that had come from a time where he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to try normal. As it turns out, normal is good. Normal is the biggest thrill of his life.

That’s why David is absolutely adamant about not seeing Patrick once they’re ready and dressed. He’s not even sure why he cares so much. He’d spent the entire morning with Patrick and then some, but Alexis’ tradition stickling has really gotten under his skin and the other day he had a dream that something fell on his head on the way down the aisle so he put the rule in place, just in case.

The Ex-Boyfriend   
  
Can I at least FaceTime you?   
  
no   
  
Please. Please   
  
Want to see you in your little suit   
  
no!!! I want to see you in YOUR little suit but it's just going to have to wait so stop xxxx   
  
Fineeeeee 🙄   
  


David smiles at his phone. He knows Patrick doesn’t actually mind. He’d stayed over at Patrick’s two nights ago, and they’d taken each other apart slower and gentler than they ever had before. It left David feeling weepy, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. He wasn’t sure why it felt sad. Why it felt like a goodbye.

Alexis is sat in front of David, repositioning his sleeves and tweaking the position of his engagement rings. She’s put the TV volume up to the highest setting to block out the sound of the rain outside, even though David already knows it’s pouring down. He doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful for her than he is right now.

“How are you feeling?” she says.

David looks down at the shirt cuff she’s repositioning for the tenth time. At this point, he thinks she’s deliberately setting it out of place then putting it back just for something to do. She’s nervous too, and it probably has more to do with the changes that are happening tomorrow and next week when they all leave town. 

“I…” David swallows, the cresting wave of emotions he’s been riding ever since getting engaged once again making their usual lodge in his throat. “I feel the same way you do before you go in for an exam. I’m also really concerned about why Mom won’t let me look at her outfit.”

Alexis smirks. “Ha, I’ve seen it. You won’t be disappointed.”

“Is it the same one she was going to wear even if she wasn’t officiating? Because I never got to see that one either.”

“Yup.”

David lets out a little growl of frustration. He doesn’t want to think about Moira right now. He’s got the entire night to talk about her outfit. Right now, he doesn’t know what he wants to think about. He doesn’t know why he feels so off.

As Alexis finishes fiddling with his outfit, she guides him to the door and pops out the massive umbrella they have to make sure David gets to the car in one piece. As they drive slowly, too slowly, David’s burning need for the tradition starts to wane.

“Do you think I could maybe catch Patrick before he takes his place?” David says casually, floating a hand out in front of him.

Alexis grabs it and slaps him on the wrist. “No, David! We’ve got like, five minutes to go.”

At that, David’s chest tightens with panic. It’s good panic and bad panic. He’s never been more excited for anything than he is to get married, but something feels out of place. Like he’s running out of time for something. He needs to see Patrick before they get married. He needs to.

They pull up at the Town Hall, and David takes the steps two at a time.

“David, wait!”

Alexis trots after him in her shiny white heels as he takes a right and down the little corridor he knows leads to the back of the hall. She flaps at the back of his skirt to no avail.

“Seriously? David? We have _five minutes.”_

“I just want to have one conversation. Can I do that?”

“Oh my God, David! You literally have forever!”

“Well, can forever hold on a minute? This is now!”

There’s a chair at the end of the hall. It’s old and squeaky with some horrid burgundy upholstery, but David doesn’t care. He can hear the low, identical timbres of Patrick and Clint’s voices murmuring somewhere 90 degrees around the corner. He sits down on the chair.

“Patrick?”

They go silent. He hears the shuffle and screech of a chair being pulled up to the other side of the wall corner, and suddenly Patrick is there. He doesn’t know why, but David feels like he hasn’t talked to him in years.

Wordlessly, David reaches a shaking hand round the corner and feels around at the wall until he finds the cuff of Patrick’s sleeve. Patrick takes David’s hand and interlocks their fingers. The grip is clammy. It’s so tight that David can practically see the whiteness at Patrick’s knuckles, map the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he’s nervous enough to hold something this tight.

“Hi,” David breathes.

There’s a long, slow breath through the nose and out the mouth, then, “Hi, David.”

Alexis is right, but…forever would never know this moment again. _Forever_ didn’t hold David’s young husband – no, his fiancé – bouncing his knee behind the wall, his breathing broken and anticipatory. It was the kind of breath David had heard him take before a really important game that he was equal parts excited and nervous for, except those breaths were never so shaky or tearful. This was slower. This was the rest of their lives.

“How are you doing?” Patrick says. He sounds as gentle as he did the time that David had had a fever at the apartment and he’d woken up to Patrick sitting by the bed, his chin hooked over the duvet and his fingers feathering through David’s hair.

“I…I’m good. Feeling a million things.”

“Mm. I know what you mean.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah.”

“I feel sick.”

Patrick hums in agreement.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t get my shoelaces to tie.”

David laughs. “Yeah, but what’s new?”

Patrick shakes David’s hand away teasingly, but maintains his grip.

“I feel a bit sick too, actually. Kind of like the moment before you –”

“–Go in for an exam, yeah,” David finishes in unison. “Mm. Even though I’m not sure why.”

“Do we need a reason?” Patrick says. “Sometimes nerves are just nerves. These are as good a time to have them as any.”

“I know, but…why do I feel like I’m going to miss you?”

And it’s the first time David’s found a way to shape it, this thought that’s been sleeping in his head since they got engaged. That for this step to be taken, this beautiful and profound rebirth of things, some things will have to be put to bed. Things he’ll miss, even though the person that gave them to him isn’t going anywhere.

“Because things are going to be different now,” Patrick says, his voice husky. “Good different, but still. Different.”

“We probably won’t have time for another movie marathon on the couch at the apartment before we move.”

“Won’t need to tell people we just got engaged anymore.”

“Won’t send any more surprises in the mail,” David adds. That was something they’d started doing a long time ago as a joke and kept up the habit right until last week, when David had texted Patrick to complain about how he’d ran out of good coffee and had to use the motel’s shitty supply and Patrick had sent him a mug, a beautiful Mexican ground coffee blend and some chunky chocolate biscotti.

“Oh, I’ll still find a way,” Patrick says, squeezing David’s hand.

David sniffs. “Does this sound silly? Like, all these little things have been setting me off this week. The other night I thought about all the things I’d never ask you about yourself because I already know them and I started crying. Who does that?”

“Not silly at all. In fact, I can beat you there. I cried thinking about the first time I made you pizza.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! I have absolutely no idea.”

David swallows. “None of it’s sad tears, though? Right?”

“God, no.”

“What is it, then?” David asks for the both of them.

“I have no idea. It’s just…moving through time with someone. Saying goodbye to them as they go and then saying hello again.”

David feels the very core of him warm up. No, it’s deeper than that. It’s every nerve, every vein, every sinew being grounded by the most stability he’s ever felt. He feels safe. Respected. Protected. Shielded from anything he doesn’t want in life. Open to everything he does.

“God, I love you so much,” David breathes, and the tears that have been threatening to spill over since he got here finally start to make their tracks.

He hears the hitch in Patrick’s breath that means he’s crying too. “I love you too, David.”

“Are we ready to do this?”

Wordlessly, Patrick shuffles his feet around the corner. David bends down and ties Patrick’s shoelaces carefully. He knows how shaky Patrick’s hands get when he’s overwhelmed. How much they’d shaken when he asked David if he’d liked his song, when David had told him he loved him, when he was trying to put the gold rings on David’s fingers. David had always thought Patrick was at his strongest in those moments.

When they’re done, the feet disappear behind the wall and David and Patrick stand up without letting go of their hands. Patrick raises the interlinked fingers to his lips and kisses each of David’s knuckles.

“See you in a minute, then,” Patrick says.

David smiles. He can’t help it.

“See you in a minute. Goodbye, Patrick.”

It’s a funny way to think, David realises as he’s headed back down the narrow hallway to meet a now very impatient Alexis. But it is a goodbye. Just like the bittersweet melancholia that had hugged David and Patrick from behind the day they got engaged. That was a farewell to them being boyfriends. This is just the same; it’s one of the eternal funerals they would attend of the people they used to be. It’s the endless and happily-paid tax of loving and being loved. The acceptance that things would be different now, and the reassurance that different didn’t always mean bad. Different doesn’t have to mean bad.

Today, the stability and the _normal_ that Patrick’s existence has promised David for almost two years starts. Today, David will have someone by his side forever who has sailed through every version of him, has seen every permutation of the life he holds inside and still come out the other end saying _yes, this is what I want. You are who I choose._

Today and tomorrow and all the days beyond, the things David has been dreaming about begin. The cottage is there, ready to be lived in. Ready for everything that _they’re_ ready to give it in their peaceful and loving life. David thinks about Patrick shaking the newspaper out on a morning as he tries to talk round a mouthful of that awful all-bran cereal he buys, and he wants to cry again.

And when it’s done, when today begins, when the rings are in place and the register’s signed and they’re _husbands,_ David cups Patrick’s face in his hands for the first and hundredth time and whispers a hello in his ear.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
